Berit's Gone for the Night

All is quiet now in the Doublestein House. Trevor's of course at work, Marta's asleep (as is Mosey), and Berit is at Trevor's parents' house. I have SUCH a hard time saying goodbye when she goes to stay with them. It's not even for the weekend, it's only overnight, but as she pulls away in someone else's car, head looking out the window at me and a goofy smile on her face, because she's excited to be doing something a little different, I always almost say, "WAIT! You're staying right here." It's not that I don't l-o-v-e the time to myself (meaning, time to clean the house and take care of the rest of the family who didn't leave). I appreciate not having a no-napper at my heels asking for help but not wanting actual help, putting greasy, dirty fingers into my mouth, climbing on me, asking me to hold her, hold her dolls, hold her blanka, standing at my knees while I pee, etc. etc. etc. I've been working on my newsletter project since Marta went to sleep, and I've actually accomplished things, instead of sitting down to do it and having to kiss a boo-boo, sitting down then having to get a drink, sitting down then having to pull a stuck toy out, again etc. etc. etc. But I feel like every single day I put her off in favor of the baby, because I assume she's more mature and less needy than she is. She's not baby-ish anymore, and so I expect her to understand when I have to nurse Marta (in the dark, in the same chair, with her sound on, and a blankie). She shouldn't have to sit out in the living room alone while I do this. I hate it. 

So when someone takes her for an hour or overnight, I get really jealous that they get quality time with her. It's not that I don't love being with Marta, too. I just long for my big girl, so that I even miss her when she's right next to me. Touching my knees. While I pee.