Potty Faking

How many women in the history of blogging have posted about potty training trials? Oh, count me in. 

Berit is three in February, and really, completely, totally understands the potty concept. She wears "big girl panties" at home, holds it for hours and when she's ready to "go," she changes herself into a Pull-Up. Yes, you read that right.

And yes, we've given her tons of time, attention and access on the potty. She knows it well (though we don't dare pressure her, parents of the New Millennium that we are). She sits on it often. She even says, with a gleam in her eye and excitement in her voice, "Here it comes!" "I can hear it!" "I'm doing it!" But she knows she's not. She's teasing us. Really -- I'm not being cynical. She's really, really, messing with us. She laughs and rolls her eyes. She gets up and puts on a Pull-Up, pees, and takes it off to put on her "big girl panties" again. 

Sometimes she goes. Never Number Two, which is already an issue for her with Pull-Ups (she's sworn off diapers altogether), so God only knows how she'll put that business in the potty. But occasionally she'll pee where she's supposed to -- I've even allowed the potty chair to be in the living room (I know) so she can be social while she waits. It makes music when she goes, which was exciting at first, but now the music goes off even when she moves around, so it's lost its luster and just taunts us.

I get tips. I get so many tips from people who just don't understand. The 24-hour potty training, the naked week, the guilt trip. These tips are not for Berit, our sensitive child who could really take something like the potty to her therapist two decades from now.

Yet I beg for tips. Somebody tell me the right way to do it. I want her to go to gymnastics. I hate waiting and waiting, sitting by the chair. I want preschool. I want life beyond Pull-Ups.