Arby's, No-Nappers and Wal-Mart. Or, Alternatively Titled, "This Morning."

Today started out normally enough, except Marta did us the gracious favor of waking up at 7:21 a.m. instead of 5 a.m., which has been her habit as of late. This, however, apparently threw off her nap schedule, because each time she rubbed her eyes and yawned and I put her in her bed, she was happy and wide awake. I figured we'd just go about our day and she'd nap in the car, so off we went. Berit was in a great mood and ready to find adventure, so I decided to go to Wal-Mart. I typically do my very best to avoid Wal-Mart at all costs, but today we "needed" a few things I can't get at our local market. Here was my list:

• Cheap mailers
  
• One of those bumper-style play strips for the crib, with a mirror and googly eyes and the like for the baby to amuse herself with when she's going down for a nap or waking up from one.
  
• A crib bumper, to take to my mom's house this weekend as my contribution to the crib she's getting for Marta and all subsequent babies had by kids in our family from here on out.
  
• Diapers
  
• General bath stuff
  

On the way there I noticed that it was 10:50, and that Berit would be hungry in a half hour. And even though I really, genuinely didn't want to get fast food, I thought we could grab something quick and eat it while Marta dozed, giving us quality conversation time together (much needed) and would ensure two happy children at the horror that is Wal-Mart. So.

We acquired Arby's and set off to lull Marta to sleep by the hum of the car. However, she found Berit far too fascinating to fall asleep, so I decided to instead take the kids into Wal-Mart immediately, get our stuff done and let Marta sleep in the car on the way home while Berit ate and hopefully fell asleep herself. Brilliant.

Here's what we found at Wal-Mart:

• Free cookies to rev the kids up and spoil lunch (OK, lunch wasn't entirely healthy but it still contained protein). Big thanks to the bakery people trying to be nice and not quite picking up on my evil eye.
  
• Toys
  
• This play mat that looked educational but is actually very loud and possibly needs to be returned
• Advance-purchase Christmas gifts that really aren't needed but were in front of my face when my wallet was out
  
• Expensive mailers
  
• No crib toy/bumper thing
  
• No crib bumper sold independently of an entire $90 crib set
  
• Diapers
  
• General bath stuff
  

Got in the car and discovered through no uncertain terms that Marta needed to nurse. Now. So I took it all out, so to speak, and was pleased to see a group of Wal-Mart employees settling in the doorways of the minivan parked right next to me, on a smoke/Mountain Dew/cursing-loud-enough-for-my-2-year-old-to-hear-and-absorb break.

We drove home and my precarious toddler said adorable things like "When we go home we really should get out (insert toy)." What a big statement! And "We're going to Grandma's house in two days. That means two sleeps." So smart. It made me tempted to snatch the chicken nuggets out of her hand and buy her edamame and spinach. Anyway. Marta finally fell asleep and Berit was looking sleepy. Then my clever girl said, "Mommy this isn't the way home!" (She was right -- I was taking a different way home to make for a longer stretch of nap-inducing bumps.) It woke her up completely. Got home, tossed leftover Arby's to barking dog to silence him, brought her in and tried to bring Marta in, hoping I could just move her from car to bed with no waking. No dice. Her 10-minute nap seemed to be just what she needed, because both children are currently laughing and playing right in front of me.

Marta just pooped. Back to reality, and a heap of new, not-needed toys.