Saturday, July 18, 2009

You Take The Good You Take The Bad

Today Berit and I had a really awful ... confrontation. (Does the word "fight" apply with a 3-year-old that you're screaming with? What is the PC term here?)

She refused to do something... another possibly inappropriate thing to write on the Internet? Well, she refused to wipe after going pee-pee; I waited for her to do it, she continued to refuse, I "talked" with her about it, she refused some more, I called her a little baby (shame, guilt, terrible, I know), she whined and cried because she didn't "feel" like it and wanted me to do it for her, and eventually I picked her up, carried her to my room (Marta was asleep a few feet away from the bathroom) and forcibly put her down on the floor and yelled, "YOU CAN'T CRY ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING! YOU ARE A BIG GIRL! STOP ACTING LIKE A BABY!"

Ahem. (This space reserved for the relatives who think I am a tyrant and need to yell out to their husbands that I am indeed a tyrant and here's proof.)

This has been building up, because for the past two weeks she's screamed, cried and whined through her entire bath each night simply because she doesn't want to take one. She has also stopped eating dinner yet begged for dessert (no) and starts crying in lieu of her typical reasoning for most disagreements or generally unpleasant rules (like no standing on the couch arm). I don't know what's going on, but we've been doing our best to reason and explain for two weeks and today I was done.

After my screaming and yelling (in front of an open window, thankyouverymuch), I walked out and closed the door, held the knob while she banged and pulled on it and screamed her voice hoarse, counted to 20 and went back in. She then tried to beat me up. I stood and waited as she pummeled me until she was exhausted. I know this probably isn't a good parenting tactic but at the time I thought, I just screamed at her, guilted her and roughly picked her up, hauled her over and tossed her down and it made me feel a little better, so this is probably helping her, and we were both wrong and we'll deal with it after it's over. Which is what we did, and had a really good conversation about how she wants to do big girl things but can't if she's going to act like a baby, and devised a method for when she gets frustrated and a discipline plan if she breaks the rules, and she actually agreed to it all. We then cuddled on the couch and...

watched The Sound of Music and she LOVED IT and I cried and had goosebumps the entire time because she loved it! We had to watch parts over and over again which was fabulous for me because it is my very best movie of all time, and then we went out and bought the CD which she also loves. So, in the final tally, I think today may have been a great day.

We also said goodbye to our friends the Marsmans this late morning, after they came for an overnight stay and we had such a fun time. Teri, "the mom" Marsman, was a friend of mine from high school and we reconnected over, you guessed it, Facebook, and we had a complete blast catching up all night long. Our kids, ages 6, 4, 3 and 1 in total, had a great time together, despite the frigid temps (high 50s! What?).

I rented Pride and Prejudice to watch tonight but I think I may have to hit the hay early. I. Am. Exhausted. I'll bet Berit is, too.

1 comment:

Liza said...

Amen sister! Glad it all worked out in the end. These girls, they go through phases. Elle can be the same unreasonable, whiny, generally a big PAIN! But at the end of the day, we snuggle, chat, and rebuild, right???? Hang in there! The Sound of Music is our fave too. Has she seen Mary Poppins? That is a big hit too!