Take-Back-Control Yesterday

So, we did the thing. And then we ended it, walked away, said we wouldn't be back for the dozen more (each) we were scheduled to have. After we came home, Trevor and I were both sick about going through with the first one. We felt like we let ourselves down, let our kids down, and we couldn't reconcile it. For us, for ourselves -- not for anyone else, not for any other family. So I don't know where that leaves us, except more sure than ever of our own decisions.