Anyone Up For A Nursing Bra Burning?

Last night, there was no nursing. Marta has officially not nursed for 38 hours, leaving my shirt a wee bit tighter in all the right places and my future child free for at least an overnight. It was hard last night, though. Trevor went to her once, twice, then the third time she was not having it. Cried and sobbed for Mama, so I filled a sippy with warm milk and let her cry while I held her, telling her stories and singing lullabies. She wasn't happy, but after a while I left and she slept (not without screaming for 20 minutes, but sleep she finally did). This morning she woke up and still loved me, so I think we'll do the same thing tonight. 

However. I believe this weaning process will fall more on my shoulders this evening, since when I went up to her 10 minutes after Trevor had left, I found her freezing and WET. Not her diaper, her pajamas. It took me an hour just to warm her up, and I'm fairly certain my rage at my soundly asleep husband turned me into a right toasty furnace. When I left her room I was tempted to pull his covers off and stick his hand in a bowl of warm water, but I was too tired. This morning he was shocked; said the room felt perfectly fine to him. This from a man who sleeps in practically a loin cloth while I'm wearing my "snowsuit" (his words, not mine), piled with a quilt and a down comforter. 

But don't worry, fellow moms. I just ate the last of his ice cream. And let's not forget how a recently-weaned mom's chest goes through Pamela Anderson-esque changes, yet how it may not be touched, looked at or thought about. So we're even.

Boo Boo Boobies?

What do you think?

Will my 15-month-old fall for it if I put Band-Aids on my nips and tell her I have boo-boos, therefore she can't nurse?

Because 15 months is still pretty baby-ish; not quite understanding other lies like "The milk is all gone; we need to go to the store," or "Nurse go night-night," or "Mama needs to be done with the nursing immediately so she can go to Target in Traverse City and not worry about whether you'll fall asleep for your Dad." 

OK, maybe that last one wasn't a lie.

But because Berit is into Dora the Explorer Band-Aids as playthings, Marta is, too. 

But will she buy it on the boobs? What do you think?

Marta, The Less Dramatic Of The Two (Really)

I can't remember the last time I nursed Berit, though I do recall being somewhat obsessed with weaning for at least three months leading up to it. It probably didn't help that I was five months pregnant at the time, and the first four months I had spent throwing up, in the hospital being rehydrated, and lying on the couch. So I have a feeling all of the trips with Daddy to his parents' house to give me some rest may have helped her make the transition. And just now I'm remembering having Trevor go to her in the middle of the night, and her crying, and me crying in bed listening to them on the monitor. So it happened, and it wasn't all that easy.

But it's sounding like a walk in the park compared to what's going on in Marta's world these days. At only 15 months old, we have two sources of drama with her:

1. Nursing/weaning.

2. Separation anxiety.

Let's start with the first. Berit was 18 months old when I finally weaned her, and I thought that was ridiculous. I know many children nurse for much longer, but for our family, it was too long. She didn't need to for the same reasons Marta doesn't need to now: She ate full meals, she drank plenty of milk and water during the day and it wore on my personal level of patience. 

The only reason I'm not pressing weaning on Marta is because she is comforted by nursing. She doesn't nurse to sleep, though when she wakes it's one of the only ways to calm her. Which brings us to the second part of our current situation...

I have never met a child who is so saddened by being away from her mother as is Marta. This is not to indicate my superiority as a mother; in fact I don't know why she is this way, as we're a family that tends to be together more than apart (Trevor's job is very flexible and he can always be at gatherings, bedtime, even playdates and lunch if we ask). Yet even if I'm in the kitchen washing dishes and Trevor is in the living room playing with the girls, just 15 feet or so away in full view of one another, Marta is crying to be with me. 

Poor Trevor. He's a great dad who actively plays with the kids whenever they're together. He's gentle and kind, gives them both a bath and gets them ready for bed each evening, and will go to either of them when I prod in the middle of the night. He's trying hard to help me with Marta's dependence on both me and my lactation delivery system, yet Marta refuses him every time she sees or hears me. Whenever I leave while she's sleeping and he gets her up from her nap, she's fine. And in fact she loves playing with him when I'm not in the picture -- it's just having the option, I guess, makes her weepy and insecure. 

I'm a stay-at-home mom who almost never leaves the kids. We have a babysitter come for a few hours once a week and the kids LOVE her, and I even stay most of the time in another room working, and the whole time she's here Marta is saying, "Mommy-Mommy-Mommy-Mommy-MOMMY!" (For the record, Marta doesn't know I'm in the other room.)

I don't like the idea of forcing her to overcome this; I wouldn't put that on her tiny shoulders. But I'd very much like to help her deal, especially because...

In the beginning of June we have an overnight getaway planned for just Trevor and me, and the girls will be staying at our house with Trevor's parents. 

The girls love Trevor's parents, so that won't in itself terrify Marta. However, somehow before then we need to:

1. Wean Marta. (She nurses only before each of her two naps and once at bedtime, then throughout the night -- see below.)

2. End night wakings (about three or four times a night, and I nurse her then put her back to bed "drowsy but awake" and she falls asleep; yes, Trevor has gone to her during these and occasionally it works, but not twice in a row -- if this happens she simply won't go back to sleep, no matter how many hours pass, no matter how much Trevor rocks, offers her a cup of milk, until I go in and nurse her). (And, we are not the type of people who can ignore our baby's cries all night, nor is Berit the type of child who can sleep through screaming in the room next to hers.)

3. Ease the separation anxiety.

So.... I don't know where to go from here. I would love guidance, if you have any to offer; I would enjoy commiseration, if you've been there, done that. Thanks for reading, thanks for brainstorming. It takes a village... :)